He Really is a Baller

V-Mart has long been at or near the top of our list of favorite Indians. He straight-up rakes, he's a great leader in the clubhouse, and his high-five routines with everyone on the team are too sweet for words. Plus, he finally stopped throwing with the wrong hand and is now clipping would-be base-stealers at a double-digit rate.

But now, he's catapulted himself even higher in our personal Indians pantheon, by taking it into his own hands to kick Cliff Lee's ass in protest of Lee's refusal to cease and desist sucking. We don't really care about how he reacted to beaning Sosa, assuming he didn't intentionally go after Sammy's head (and even if he did, that thing is like a granite slab a this point--we're not sure if Sammy actually needs a helmet, to be honest), but we're thrilled to see Victor call Lee in the first inning where Cliff was throwing slo-pitch softball. We envision something of a cage match in the "closed-door meeting" after the game, in which V-Mart pile drives Lee in the the clubhouse, puts him in a submission hold (perhaps the million-dollar dream?) and makes him scream about his curveball chugging. We're pretty sure that's what happened.

It's too bad Jake Westbrook was working on the RBI Baseball bracket in the back, b/c the "stop being bad" message didn't sink through for him, either. Last night he got himself rocked, although the offense didn't help much, letting the Sox off the hook in a bases-loaded, one-out, situation in the 4th. It was cool to see Jake anti-earn his extension on national TV. Seriously, these two ass-clowns are going to give us a heart attack if the Tribe doesn't make the playoffs.

P.S. Where the hell is Travis Hafner's bat?